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#24 Motherhood.

May 15, 2018May 16, 2018 ~ alifewellloved

Making the decision to have a child – it is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. – Elizabeth Stone

So incredibly grateful for these two extra hearts.

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Sharing my stories of joy, grief, gratitude, and laughter in everyday life.

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#36 Busy, busy. 06.11.2018. These last few weeks have been an absolute blur. The busyness kicked off with hosting my dad and his girlfriend for a week at our house. Shortly after they left, we hosted our friends over Memorial Day weekend while their house was on the market. The following weekend, we visited Chattanooga. We returned from our vacation, and the following day I hopped on a plane and was in D.C. for a work trip. All the while working full time and juggling two kids.  Whew. Let me catch my breath.  Needless to say, this weekend was exactly what we needed. After weeks of nonstop plans and agendas, our weekend was wide open. We started our weekend with our usual tradition, Friday night movie night. On Saturday, we spent half the day at our neighborhood pool. It was so relaxing to be there; we were the only ones there for most of the morning. We played hooky from the neighborhood pool party that night - we were pretty beat, and having spent the morning at the pool didn't feel up to returning. Sunday was pretty rainy, so our hopes of weeding the garden went by the wayside and we were forced to remain indoors. I say "forced" lightly - we spent the day playing in the bonus room, cleaning up the kitchen and doing laundry, and then headed out for some grocery shopping that evening. We got a lot done without stressing ourselves out, and got some quality family time together, so overall a successful weekend.  This week is starting out just as chaotic as the others: Nate has another ear infection; he had one a few weeks ago but unfortunately the antibiotics must not have cleared it. Andrew and I were up late taking care of him while he fussed, poor boy, but he woke up this morning seemingly fine. I took him to school, and he then proceeded to throw up all over my scrub top. The boys' birthdays are quickly approaching, and my computer decided to die while making Will's evite. Hopefully a quick trip to the computer store will have it up and running again.  Happy Monday, friends. Keep on keeping on. ⠀⠀ #dailyjournal #kids #memories #parenting #life #lifewithlittles #beautyinthechaos

#35 Chattanooga. 06.05.2018. We just returned home after a long weekend in Chattanooga, and we had a great time with our little family. Andrew and I found a wonderful Airbnb just a few blocks away from the artsy district, the Northshore. It was the sweetest little bungalow, just a cozy place to unwind after our daily adventures. We eased into each day enjoying a morning cup of coffee before packing the stroller and heading out for the day.  Each day we strived to do one major activity, then depending on how the boys were feeling after their afternoon naps, we could head out again for additional activities. This was key in the success of the trip; we didn't overbook ourselves, and we made sure to work in nap time. We also walked everywhere, which really wiped out our eldest and made bedtime much easier. We cooked a few simple meals in, and after the boys were asleep, Andrew and I enjoyed a bottle of wine out on the front porch.  We hit up the train station, where we took a short train ride and the boys got to climb on real train engines. ⠀⠀ We also went to the aquarium and the children's museum, and the boys thoroughly enjoyed both. We went out for ice cream almost every night at the famous local ice cream shop, Clumpie's. Chattanooga is such a fun family-friendly town, and with it being such a short drive from Nashville, it made for a great getaway weekend.  The things about this trip that I never want to forget: Will telling Andrew and I repeatedly that he loves each of us. "I love all of us", he would say, and then go on to list off all of our names. The way the boys giggled at each other in the morning because they were so excited to be sharing a room. Watching Nate follow his brother all around the house, wanting to play with the same toys as Will. Nathan devouring his first taste of spaghetti and meatballs. Will stopping at every part of the sidewalk that had dance moves and him trying to copy them. Taking the kids to a bar on our anniversary, and then being complimented on how well they behaved. We've got some pretty darn amazing kids, and (I may be biased) they might be the cutest too.

#34 Seven Years. 06.04.2018. We celebrated our anniversary a little differently this year. Usually we get a sitter and take a night out for ourselves, but this year we took a family vacation to Chattanooga and spent it with our boys. Our last two attempts at taking a trip with the kids both ended in complete disaster, so we were a little nervous to try a third time. However, I'm happy to report this trip was a success, and we had a relaxing time together (always a surprise when you have littles). What made our anniversary so special was being able to enjoy it with our babies. This is our seventh year married, and our tenth year together. It is so amazing to see how different our lives are from just one decade ago. And what a milestone; time has truly flown with this man by my side. The joy and happiness he has brought to my life is immeasurable. I cannot wait to see what our future holds together. ⠀⠀ Happy Anniversary, sweetheart. ⠀⠀ #dailyjournal #gratitude #anniversary #marriage #parenting

#33 May & October. 06.02.2018. May and October, two of the most beautiful months of the year, and I struggle through both. Without warning, I will find myself enter into this terrible funk that I cannot shake. In May, it starts around Mother's Day, and doesn't end until the 23rd, the day my mom died. October is the month of breast cancer awareness, and also ironically happens to be the month that my mom is was diagnosed with Stage I, and then years later Stage IV cancer.  This past month of May was no exception. As much as I want to think fondly of this time with my mom in her last few weeks, it’s still so fresh that most days I find myself struggling. My Timehop feed is filled with pictures of our last days together, and suddenly I’m reliving those moments all over again.  This feeling of living between joy and sadness at the same time can be difficult. Sometimes I need to dwell in the sadness; the sadness is a reminder of what I have lost. Grief is the price we pay after we have lost someone we love. What I struggle with the most is letting myself feel these different mix of emotions. I find myself wanting to place these sad feelings into a box, wrap them up tight with a neat little bow on top and shove them far away to a place where I can’t find them. Feelings are messy, and it’s never as simple as wrapping them up in a package, never to be dealt with again. To be kind and to not be so critical to myself has been a challenge, but it’s something that I’m learning along the way. #dailyjournal #grief #griefjourney #mom #momloss #motherlessdaughter #cancer #breastcancer

#32 Good morning, Tennessee. 05.26.2018. There’s been a lot happening in my life recently, and while at some point I will share all the details, on this day I need to take a step back and process all of these changes. So for today I’m going to take a deep breath, go for a long run, and enjoy the beautiful scenery that Tennessee brings. ⠀⠀ #dailyjournal #gratitude #running

#31 Papa’s Boys. 5.25.2018. Nothing makes me light up more than to see my boys get excited about their Papa visiting. Seeing Nathan react the same way that Will does to his Papa makes my heart so happy it could burst. #dailyjournal #gratitude #papa #grandparent #kids #memories

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