We visited my mother’s grave today. I have only gotten to see it twice since she passed away; one of the hardships of living far away. The last time I visited, it was an absolute disaster. Will was not quite three at the time and not feeling well. I was really hoping to see her grave site alone for the first time, but time was limited during that visit and did not allow. My dad, Will and I then trekked out to the cemetery, where Will had a full-blown meltdown due to a fever, and I could barely keep my wits about myself as I was falling apart seeing her grave in person for the first time.
So my hesitation in visiting this time with both boys, my husband, and my dad was not unfounded. However, my fears quickly dissolved when I saw Will head over to Nana’s grave stone and sat down. He bowed his head, and then began to pick wild strawberries and placed them on her grave, saying that the birdies will come visit Nana too. My youngest, who will never meet his Nana, immediately erupted into a huge grin. He reached his chubby little arms out to Papa, who was getting choked up at the time, and Papa talked to Nana’s grave while baby Nate cuddled and hugged his Papa. It was such a beautiful, touching moment and Nathan seemed to know that his Papa needed some extra snuggles. The rest of the visit went smoothly; it felt so surreal to be in such a serious place yet my kids were smiling and playing while Will talked about his Nana. It was just the way my mom would have wanted it, and it was wonderful.