Before I lost my mom, before I knew her cancer would return and our days would be numbered, before all of the heartache and loss, I knew a handful of girls that had lost their mother early on in life. Every time a picture would be posted on a social media feed, I would think about what they were feeling on the inside. I would think about how much time has passed since their mom was gone. I used to wonder if they looked at those pictures of themselves with their families, their friends, and wonder what their mom would say if they were still here with them.
I found myself wondering if what I saw from the outside was what they felt on the inside.
I can now say with absolute certainty that I now know the answer, and the answer is YES. Do I think about her everyday? Do I wonder what she would say if she met my children today? At every major life event, do I yearn for her to be there? Yes, yes, and yes.
Life keeps moving forward, further from the days when my mother was still here with me. Even though there a million reasons to celebrate the wonderful new experiences life brings, am I aware of my mother’s absence? The answer will always be yes.